Wednesday, June 3, 2015
C is for Change --- Day 4/125
Walk: Fillmore, Laurel
Distance: 4.5 miles and small home yoga
Ciwt is not trying to capitalize, but she's surprisingly in the know about the situation of the new Ms. C___. One of her acquaintance/friend's has honored her by openly (for the first time) sharing her transgender status and experience as well as her thoughts about Ms. C. Turns out Ciwt's a/f's change was in the mid-1960's so she's done and seen it all and is well worth learning from.
One of her main points - besides that not all transgender stories are sad/tragic; hers wasn't even for a minute - is that the physiological changes that transitioning involves are intense, complex, confusing, physically painful and emotional among other things. Basically people like Ms. C have an entirely new body they know nothing about, and it takes years for that body to develop fully and for the 'owner' to understand it - on all different levels. Eventually, slowly they can position themselves comfortably in a world that suits them. Like, you know, what we all did from the identity crisis of adolescence until 'maturity' (ie, about yesterday). Long process, many twists and turns until we start to get it right.
My friend - and most people who make the change properly/safely - was on hormones for many years before and after her legal change/coming out. As just one example of what this entails, the pelvic bones soften, widen and become more feminine causing the whole body to ache continually. (Ciwt imagines like a constant, dull toothache). Then there's the actual legal transition and the long, labored process of learning a new gender - while often unemployed because no history means no resume or a resume that often no longer applies. It's complex to say the least.
The point here being that Ms. C has not been on hormones for nearly long enough, and she seems - with the media's gleeful assistance - to be denying/ignoring the profoundly demanding personal/private/physical challenges ahead in favor of the understandably (for a new girl) titillating glamour of finally being able to dress up. Meanwhile apparently a lot of real people in the transgender community have a lot of compassion and concern for what may lie ahead for Ms. C. - even though her life will likely always be sheltered by fame, money and entourage.