Sunday, August 20, 2017

A Proper Goodbye --- Day 6/181

Walk: No, Packing and Last Minute Stuff
Distance: 0, Yoga

So, one minute Ciwt was growing up at home and the next minute she was at boarding school far, far away.  Then this happpened and that happened and now it is now with her life in San Francisco.  It is a wonderful life, but Ciwt has always felt since boarding school (which she Did Not want to go to) it was some sort of a vacation life before going home.

Did she want to leave?  No, that's clear. She was on a pretty strong trajectory.  Would she have chosen to leave if she hadn't been yanked off the stage? What would have happened if she'd been allowed to stay, do things according to her own timing? Those and other questions have always been with her wherever she has lived since then.  Sort of a deep ambiguity and detachment.  Subtle but nagging.

'Who knows? 'is the answer of course - to all those questions. But now Ciwt feels a need to go to that pre-boarding school place and choose her life.  Take charge, say her own proper goodbye to that teenage life that was so prematurely interrupted. Or something.

Tomorrow she'll take that trip, a fortnight.  And she's telling her Ciwt readers all this because posting from ipads and iphones is very limited.  She'll put up pictures with a few comments of some of the various places she will or might go and hopes you'll enjoy them.  Then she'll catch you up when she returns to her San Francisco and CIWT life.

Goodbye for now...

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