Sunday, July 27, 2014

Trespassers Beware --- Day 3/196

Walk: No
Distance: Not much and home yoga practice  

What Ciwt often prefers is being alone.  With Callie - or her current animal - of course.

It's a hard won preference probably.  Most likely acquired and hard-wired during an infancy of being ignored and unwanted.  This isn't said critically or pathetically but factually: Ciwt's parents had other concerns and skills besides parenting, and, luckily, there was help for the children.

Even attained, and even alone, her preferred state of solitude - the one where she can hear the rhythms of her life and the sounds of her companions: Callie, wild parrots and crows sometimes, the wind of course in San Francisco - isn't easily arrived at.  There's the call of personal questions: should she maybe go to to some open houses today? Why would she do that? Well, what should (Capital S) she do if she doesn't do that? Read? Movie? Surf? Then, if she's lucky - sometimes with the unintentional aid of some at home yoga - all these mental agitations melt away and open into stillness, solitude, quiet, aloneness.  At that point Ciwt's world becomes Huge, vast, wondrous.

She could write so much about this, about her encounters with aloneness, and maybe she will.  But enough for today.

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